you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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