We're facebook friends in real life
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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