I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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