I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
