Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
