This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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