please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
