i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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