READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
