jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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