her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I won't apologize to a one balled man
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
