I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Drunk walkin through police station. America
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
