I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
