Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
