So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
