Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you inspire me to be a worse person
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
