There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize