At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
