I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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