I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
