Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
