Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
