Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
