So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
