..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I will pee on everything he values.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
