new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
