mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize