The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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