I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
