Yo dont text me then not text me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
