lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
