seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
