Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
