just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
