i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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