I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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