so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
