She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was CRYING into my vagina
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
