Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
