Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
