.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
