she was so not down for the gang bang
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
