If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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