So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
