Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
