I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A bitchslap is in order.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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