I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The ass gains better be worth it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
