but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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