brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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