Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
