Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
