upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
