Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Fuck appropriateness.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize