The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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