maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
