Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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