I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize