the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
