The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
