i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
