I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
