one might say we're banned from that church
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
