why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize