i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
