my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
