i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
